Why crabs don't escape

[grysar]

I occasionally read Cary Tennis's advice column in Salon mostly because it gets weird questions. Today's involves a woman weirded out that another woman is attending a bachelor's party her husband is attended.

But then I found out that, actually, one woman is attending the [Bachelor's] party. She's single and unfortunately not gay; she's very straight, a boy-crazy type. She's the groom-to-be's best friend. I love when men have female best friends, but the notion of her watching my husband at a bachelor party creeps me out. I know she'll be enjoying the exclusivity, and it seems like another kind of sexism: Wives are too dorky to attend; typical women can't "hang" with guys viewing naked women.

Am I crazy to think she's going to be putting the wives and girlfriends of these guys down while she watches them watch strippers?Listen, if she were doing the stripping, I'd be fine with that too. But I think it is more of an "I'm cooler than all other women" type of position. I've had guy friends all my life, but I never relished "being one of the boys" or their being somehow "My Boys." (There is a nauseating show titled this. Ugh.) It seems so unnecessarily anti-woman. Thoughts?

Man... the horror. A woman at a bachelor's party that wasn't in a clearly servile position. What could be more anti-woman?

Comments

[ninjadebugger.livejournal.com]

IF SHE'S NOT STRIPPING AND SHE'S NOT MAKING SANDWICHES, WHY THE FUCK IS SHE THERE?

[insheepsclothng.livejournal.com]

Meeeeh I can sort of see where she's coming from but really, is it any of her business who's going to be there and in what gender combinations? It's kind of obvious that a spouse or partner is very different from a friend, and sometimes you want the company of one sans the other. Dorkiness has nothing to do with it.

One assumes she can trust her husband not to trash-talk her in front of his buddies of either sex - if she can't, they have bigger problems in their relationship. All she did was admit her raging insecurity. Yuck.

[lirazel.livejournal.com]

I don't understand the whole batchelor party thing in the first place. Or Jack-and-Jill parties. Or (gack) batchelorette parties. It all seems to me to be something the wedding industry made up to make more money--and, incidently, seems to sow the seeds of many grudges to come. If one has to act ubermale as some sort of show of independence before tying the knot, by all means, make it paintball. But first, ask why.

[heuristicsinc.livejournal.com]

Our bach. party was co-ed. We went out to eat (DuClaw) and then went to Jillians. It was fun. No naked people attended.
-bill